Who is responsible?

Responsibility simply means the ability to respond in English as well as in German "Ver.antwort.ung" (lit. the outcome is an answer). Somehow we managed to turn this ability into a punishment. From the looks of it I'd say people mostly think that being responsible is a burden, something that's better to avoid than to claim.

Here's a fun fact: you are responsible whether you want or not, whether you "accept" it or not. And you are always responsible 100%. A bit like being pregnant or dead: when you are pregnant you are pregnant and not just 99,99% pregnant.

The question then is why do we put so much effort in avoiding it? What's so painful about something that's as natural as the air that we breath in day in day out? I won't play the Erklärbär here but I will happily share my ongoing experience with this phenomenon because like you I'm also a master in avoiding responsibility. 😉

I caused a lot of pain to people in the past. I'm tempted to write that there are worse pains and less worse ones and this temptation is already me trying to avoid responsibility. There was pain and I was involved in causing it. I don't want to be responsible for it but that doesn't change the fact that I was and still am responsible for it. Pain recedes, things and people change so there's no need to hold on to it but whenever it comes up, there's no need either to push it away with some smart excuse.

I also used to say and still often think this way that the other one is responsible for playing their part in that situation that brought up the pain. And that's of course perfectly true as well. But the question arises whether or not I use that "truth" to get out of my responsibility.

The above might seem like an intellectual exercise and it is. It's words after all and words are intellectual. Yet, these words might trigger a reaction in you, an emotion and that emotion is worth exploring. You didn't feel any resistance or anger, did you?

In case you did, what happens if you stay with it just for a minute, maybe 2 minutes, or 3? You are not blaming me or my words for your anger, are you?


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